“I keep saying I gotta start working out. But I just don’t have the time, which is odd. Because I have the time to go out to dinner. And watch TV. And get a bone density test. And try to figure out what my phone number spells in words.” — Ellen DeGeneres The mixtape tofu […]
“Thirty ways to shape up for summer. Number one: eat less. Number two: exercise more. Number three: what was I talking about again? I’m so hungry.” ― Maria Bamford There’s only one man I’ve ever called a coward, and that’s Brian Doyle Murray. No, what I’m calling you is a television actor. First place chick […]